


Cry

by firefly_quill



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Emotions, Feelings, Friends to Lovers, Genji Shimada is a Little Shit, Grown Men Crying, M/M, Sentimental, and that's okay, not as angsty as it might sound
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-22 02:14:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14298537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firefly_quill/pseuds/firefly_quill
Summary: The first time Hanzo saw Jesse cry, he fled. Luckily, it wasn't the last time.





	Cry

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Niqui](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niqui/gifts).



> Hello everyone,
> 
> Niqui comes up with the best ideas. <3 This story is based on our discussion about how Jesse and Hanzo learn to become comfortable with emotions and with each other!
> 
> This was supposed to be a short drabble, but it grew into something unexpected. I hope that you will enjoy it! As always, I would love to hear your thoughts! <3

The first time Hanzo saw it, he had been too cowardly to confirm. He had followed the soft guitar music that seemed to float on the wind to a part of the base he had never seen before. Seated on a low rock was the cowboy, picking at the same sequence of notes in a repeated pattern, singing a song that Hanzo recognized, but did not _know_. His voice was soft and husky, and Hanzo heard it crack tenderly over words he did not understand, hitch in the middle of phrases that only drew attention to their beauty. Not wanting to embarrass McCree (at least, this is how he has explained his departure to himself every day since), he made his silent and hasty departure. 

\--- 

The second time, Jesse—because it was Jesse now—was sitting far too quietly, in the same spot as the first, oddly enough. It had become their spot after one of their evening drinking sessions had been crashed by Lucio and Hana, who, while sweet, were young and loud—full of the energy that had even in Genji’s younger days already made Hanzo’s head hurt. No, they would need a secret location, Jesse had told him solemnly one evening, and he knew just the spot. Hanzo made no mention of the first evening he had found Jesse there, and his heart fluttered foolishly because he was allowed into a place that was clearly so close to Jesse’s own heart (and he secretly longed for a day that he too would find a spot for himself in that warm and inviting space).

One drink led to another, and before Hanzo knew it, Jesse was sharing far too much for far too little. 

He reminisced for Hanzo his first days in Blackwatch, how he had been scrappy, angry, suspicious, and just secretly, deeply _lonely_. He recalled how Ana Amari had dragged him to town his second day in and commanded him to buy several new sets of clothing, how Gabe—because in Jesse’s memory he will always _be_ Gabe—had joined them afterwards and sat him down at a steakhouse, ordering as much food as Jesse would eat, and how all those horrible feelings that Jesse had taken as just what life _was_ began to melt away instantly. 

His voice began to break, and tears began to stream, but Jesse didn’t stop speaking, because the story needed to be told, and Hanzo was grateful for this because he was greedy, and would take in anything that Jesse would offer. 

\--

The first time Jesse saw it, it felt like a violation of privacy. 

The entire kitchen had just heard Genji accuse his brother of what they instantly recognized as taboo: “You are just like father.” 

Hanzo’s face had contorted with something indecipherable. 

“I’m sorry,” Genji said instantly with an undercurrent of panic, giving some hint as to the gravity of the situation. “That was uncalled for and untrue. Hanzo—“

The older man turned and left—fled, Jesse corrected—and wasn’t seen for the rest of the day, despite Genji’s best efforts to find him. 

Jesse had looked for him as well out of friendly concern, but found him purely by accident. He had taken a cigarillo to one of the smaller beaches, intending to watch the moon rise over the water, and was surprised to find a figure reflected in the ocean’s ripples instead. 

Hanzo was kneeling at the edge of the water, hands drawn into fists at his side, head down. His shoulders were heaving evenly, supporting the long breaths that he was taking to calm himself. While Jesse was not without stealth, he didn’t trust himself to outrun Hanzo’s wrath if discovered. He took several measured steps on the sand towards the man. 

“Genji’s a dick,” Jesse offered. 

Hanzo froze even the smallest of motions, but did not look up.

“Zenyatta’s been a great help to him, and he’s tryin’ his best,” Jesse continued, hearing no response. “But he’s gonna mess up sometimes. We all do.” 

“Usually one does not ‘mess up’ by killing their own brother,” Hanzo hissed softly towards the dark horizon. Oh. So that is where his thoughts had taken him.

“No,” Jesse agreed. “Some of us mess up by killing innocents instead.” 

“Do not think that I’ve not executed those who do not deserve it,” Hanzo turned his head slightly to spit back. 

“I don’t put that past you,” Jesse allowed. “But that’s also a bit of my history, and I’ve had to live with that. It’s what we do afterwards that counts. And from the way I see it, what your father did isn’t the path you’re walkin’ now.”

Hanzo remained silent. Jesse took another hesitant step forward to see that the man’s shoulders were shaking. He knelt to place a hand on the naked shoulder (why the *hell* did he think that was the right shoulder to settle on?), and Hanzo let out a hitched breath. 

“I will survive this, I think,” Hanzo answered, wiping at his face just the once. Jesse was beginning to recognize the wryness in his tone.

“I know you will,” Jesse promised. “I’ll be here to make sure of it.” 

Jesse regretted speaking the second thought aloud as soon as it appeared. Once again, Hanzo froze. 

“Thank you,” he replied. Jesse never could figure out how the man could express so much with so little, but it made his heart just about burst every damn time. 

They stood together for a while longer before Hanzo agreed to return to the base with Jesse. 

Later, Jesse would think to himself that it had been the only time he had ever seen Hanzo cry, but ideas once thought, are open to change. 

\--- 

When Hanzo witnessed it again, they didn’t have the excuse of alcohol.

Hanzo had joined a strike team charged with stopping a weapons shipment on Route 66. They stopped at Albuquerque on their way home, where Lena insisted they enter the tackiest souvenir shop they could find. While humouring her, Hanzo found the most ridiculous brightly covered snow globe containing a cactus. It brought an unexpected smile to his face, and he decided that he had to purchase it and force Jesse to display it in his room. 

When he presented Jesse with the item later that evening, the cowboy’s eyes started to glisten right away. 

“It was not my intention to upset you,” Hanzo tried quietly, but Jesse shook his head, holding the globe up in both hands and examining it as though it were precious. 

“Naw, ain’t upset,” he managed finally with a grin. “It’s just the most perfect thing. Thank you, Han.” 

And while Hanzo was certain that the moment did not deserve it, he also could not shake the odd knot in his chest. 

\--- 

“Jesse is fairly emotional.” 

“Oh?” Genji inquired, his hand freezing with the teapot still tipped in midair. 

“Is he not?” Hanzo bristled as though he had been rebuked, absently pulling Genji’s arm back to the table to prevent the tea from spilling as his older brother instincts took over.

“Thank you,” Genji brushed off the formality and got right back to the point of interest. “What has he done to make you think so?”

“Nothing like you might think,” Hanzo grunted. 

“What am I thinking?” Genji pressed, his younger brother instincts scenting blood.

Hanzo clenched his jaw and took a deep breath, reminding himself that he already knew the consequences of murdering his brother and that he really shouldn’t try it again.

“We are good friends,” Hanzo replied evenly, refusing to take the bait. 

“Emotional friends?”

“Come now, Genji, when is the last time you’ve seen me manage an emotion?” Hanzo deadpanned. 

Genji chuckled. “How could I argue with that? Very well,” he conceded. “Jesse is not one to hide his emotions. He feels some things quite acutely.”

“Yes…” Hanzo agreed. 

“…but?” Genji added. He did seem genuinely uncertain about what his older brother was actually asking. 

“Have you seen him cry?” Hanzo blurted out, curiosity winning over his common sense. 

Genji tilted his head in surprise at the sudden and odd question. “Hmm…no.” 

“Oh,” Hanzo replied helplessly, knowing he had fucked up. 

Genji removed his visor. 

Hanzo looked away. 

“Anija,” Genji wheedled, giving him his best eyebrow raise. 

“What?” Hanzo bit back irritably. 

“Anija,” Genji pressed again. 

“What?!” 

“ _Anija_.” 

“For fucks sake, Genji, what, are you ten?” 

“At least I already had a full range of emotions by then,” Genji grinned. 

“You little shit…” 

Jesse chose that moment to enter the room: after Hanzo had pounced on his brother from across the table and had managed to securely bind him in a headlock on the floor. 

McCree took a long look.

“Did he deserve it?” he drawled. 

“Yes,” Hanzo said simply. 

“No,” Genji choked out, still trying to pull Hanzo’s arm from his neck with both hands. 

Jesse hummed. “Goin’ by experience, I’m gonna trust Han on this one.” He threw a wave over his head as he turned to leave. 

“You piece of shit! I’m gonna remember this the next time you drunk challenge Zarya to arm wrestling!” Genji called after him. Hanzo was already loosening his grip, pulling back to sit on the floor. 

“He took your side,” Genji pointed out, still wheezing, but more from laughter than from the chokehold. 

“Can you blame him?” Hanzo countered, standing to brush himself off. 

“No,” Genji admitted, making sure he was fully standing before continuing. “There’s no accounting for taste.” 

He bolted from the room and Hanzo roared only half-playfully, chasing after him. 

\--- 

The first time they did together, Hanzo was furious. 

He stormed into the med bay with such wrath that even Angela’s reprimand died on her lips. She took a step to the side, considered her options, and locked herself in her office. 

Jesse, foolhardy or fearless as he is (perhaps both), brightened from his bed. “Why howdy darlin’—”

“What the *fuck* did you think you were doing?” Hanzo demanded. 

Jesse blinked at him, dopey smile still on his face. “Savin’ your life.” 

“Well, do *not*,” Hanzo hissed, so angry now that his tattoo began to emit a bluish glow. 

Jesse had known him long enough by now to be unfazed. “Can’t promise you that.” 

“You _will_ promise me that this instant, you idiot,” Hanzo took another step closer and grasped at Jesse’s shirt. 

“Nope.”

“Are you drugged?” Hanzo demanded. 

“Not anymore, no,” Jesse shook his head. “Let me tell ya though, that was a trip and a ha—”

“Then look me in the fucking eye, and promise me you won’t ever do that again,” Hanzo growled. 

It was only when Jesse complied with the first part that he noticed Hanzo’s eyes were unnaturally reflective. 

“Oh,” Jesse breathed, playfulness evaporating. 

“That is not the answer I wanted,” Hanzo hissed again between clenched teeth. 

“I’m sorry to disappoint, but you’re never gonna get that one, darlin’,” Jesse tried more gently. “Ain’t nothin’ in the world that can stop me from protectin’ you.”

“Why?” Hanzo’s voice was a desperate rasp, and his gaze fell away as his head collapsed to rest on Jesse’s chest. 

This hadn’t been the moment that he’d been waiting for, but Jesse knew in his heart of hearts that it was the right one. 

“’Cause I love you,” he murmured into Hanzo’s hair as his eyes filled with tears, so grateful that he was finally able to speak the words. 

Hanzo looked up, eyes red and widened. 

“I love you,” Jesse repeated, looking him straight in the eye this time as the tears streamed down his own face. 

He would have said it a third time as well, had Hanzo not swallowed the words in a long and lasting kiss. 

\--- 

And after that, they lost count. 

They would cry at the littlest thing, they would cry at the most random thing. 

While they were driving through the desert on their first holiday, Jesse saw a cactus and, thinking of the snow globe, had to bury his face in Hanzo’s shoulder. Genji decided to try his hand at cooking miso, and it smelled so much like home that Hanzo was in tears and had to turn away from the kitchen and run back to the safety of Jesse’s arms and their bedroom. 

They had opened the literal floodgates in realizing their right to be vulnerable around each other, in finding that it was okay to show emotion in this way to someone else for the very first time. 

When the rest of the team saw it the first time, they were dumbfounded. 

They had agreed to Ana’s suggestion of Pictionary, and it had been Jesse’s turn. He drew a very large eggplant next to what looked like a horse and waggled his eyebrows at Hanzo, and they had both fallen over, laughing so hard that they were in tears. 

“This counts as a forfeit,” Hana announced (she was on the other team).

“Worth it,” Genji countered, his own eyes not dry in understanding the importance of this moment. 

And after that, _the team_ lost count as well. 

\--- 

When things occur so often that they become normal, we tend not to think of them as extraordinary any longer. 

And yet ‘extraordinary’ was exactly how both of them felt that day at their secret spot on the cliffs, tears streaming down both their faces, as Hanzo presented the ring to Jesse on both knees. Jesse fell to meet him, drawing Hanzo in to seal the answer he already knew with a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [Tumblr!](https://fireflyquill.tumblr.com/)


End file.
